Carlie K.: 0:00

Hello, hello. Hey everyone. Welcome to the Praying Couple Podcast. We're so grateful that you're here with us today. For those of you who don't know us, my name is Carly Kirchibel, and I'm here with my husband and co-host, Mike Kirchbel. Before we talk about prayer or marriage or anything practical at all, we want to begin by acknowledging something sacred. God sees your marriage. He knows the season you're in. He understands what's been heavy, what's been confusing, and even what you haven't had words for yet. And he is not distant from any of it. This podcast exists because we believe marriage was never meant to be walked out apart from God's presence, not just in theory, not just in belief, but in daily lived dependence on him. And today we want to talk about one of the most foundational ways that dependence shows up in marriage, everyday prayer.

Mike K.: 0:53

Yes, Carly. And when we say everyday prayer, we're not talking about perfection, long prayers or spiritual performance. We're talking about a daily turning of the heart toward God together. Because we've seen over and over again that many Christian couples they love God deeply, they honor his word and are truly committed to their marriage, yet still find themselves feeling distant over time. That distance is rarely caused by rebellion or neglect of faith. It's usually caused by drift.

Carlie K.: 1:26

Yeah, that's so true. And one of the most common things couples tell us is we pray just not together. Or we used to pray together, but life got busy. And we want to say this clearly. That doesn't make you a bad Christian. It doesn't make you a bad couple. It makes you human. And scripture actually speaks to this kind of drift. Hebrews 2.1 says, therefore, we must pay clo much closer attention to what we have heard lest we drift away from it. Drift doesn't happen because we stop believing truth. It happens because we stop practicing it intentionally. And in marriage, when prayer slowly moves from being central to being occasional, the effects may not show up immediately, but they're going to show up eventually.

Mike K.: 2:13

That's definitely true. And what often happens is that couples continue praying about their marriage. They pray silently, they pray individually, they pray when things feel overwhelming, but they stop praying within the marriage, together, out loud, with God invited into the shared space between them. And when that happens, something subtle begins to shift. Conversations become more reactive, conflict becomes harder to navigate. Emotional safety feels thinner. Not because God has left, but because he hasn't been intentionally invited into the everyday places where unity is formed.

Carlie K.: 2:59

Yeah, that is so true. You know, it's interesting because scripture is very clear that marriage was never designed to function on human strength alone. Ecclesiastes 4.12 tells us, though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. That third strand, God's presence, is not symbolic, it's essential. And prayer is how that third strand is actively woven into the marriage relationship. And Jesus also speaks directly to this in Matthew 18, 19, where he says, Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. Agreement here isn't about always seeing eye to eye or never having conflict. It's about posture. It's about coming before God together, even when emotions are complicated, and saying, Lord, we need you here.

Mike K.: 3:53

That is definitely true. Prayer also aligns our hearts before it solves problems. It softens us before words are spoken. It slows us down long enough to remember that we're not enemies. We're covenant partners standing before a holy God.

Carlie K.: 4:11

Amen. Many couples unintentionally treat prayer like an emergency response, right? Something we reach for when things feel heavy or broken. But scripture consistently shows prayer as a daily rhythm, not a crisis tool. Psalm 55, 17 says, Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice. Now, prayer throughout the day, it keeps our hearts tender toward God. And when our hearts stay tender toward God, they tend to stay softer toward one another. Not just our spouse, but our children, our co-workers, or anybody that we come into contact with as well.

Mike K.: 4:48

That's definitely true. Jesus himself modeled this kind of daily dependence. Mark 135 tells us, in rising very early in the morning while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. If Jesus, fully God and fully man, prioritize daily prayer, how much more do we need to rhythm in our marriages? We need this kind of rhythm. Not because God demands it, but because we desperately need his presence guiding us.

Carlie K.: 5:24

Yeah, it's true. And you know, that part about getting up early in the morning, and a lot of people are like, I can't do that because I maybe I work at this time and I work at that time. Really, it's more symbolizing some sort of a sacrifice. You know, there's times where you may wake up tired or times where you don't feel like doing it. But the truth is, everyday prayer, it reshapes the internal climate of a marriage. First, it humbles us, and we see that evidence of that, anyhow, in James 4, 6. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. It's very hard to remain defensive, self-righteous, or hardened when you've just humbled yourself before God together. Yeah. It really, really is. I don't even think it's possible. I feel like anytime we've gone into prayer during you know a conflict or maybe really difficult times, it's just like you get into the presence of God and then all of a sudden all that stuff goes away. Yeah. It goes away. Uh, you know, secondly, prayer also brings peace into places where anxiety has taken root. Philippians 4, 6 and 7 says, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. That peace doesn't just guard individuals, it's also designed to guard marriages and families.

Mike K.: 6:52

Yes, and that's very important that we remember that. And finally, prayer reminds us who is actually responsible for building the marriage. Psalm 127, one says, Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Prayer is how we surrender control. It's how we say, God, we cannot carry this alone anymore.

Carlie K.: 7:16

And I really love that scripture because when I look at that, it's like, how many times have we attempted to build, quote unquote, the house and we're wasting our time? I don't want to be laboring in vain. I want to spend my time and my life as much as I can. Yeah, because I know I'm not perfect, so I'm gonna miss it sometimes, but I want to build for the kingdom of heaven.

Mike K.: 7:38

Yes.

Carlie K.: 7:39

We're not interested in this temporary earth and only, you know, limiting our experiences to this. Some of you may be thinking, we don't have time. That sounds great, but we just don't have the time. Ephesians 5, 15 and 16 reminds us, look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Prayer doesn't steal time, it redeems it. And in often in circumstances we've seen it multiplies it. That's part of the redemption. Others may think we don't know what to say, Mike and Carly, we have no clue what to pray. But Romans 8 26 reassures us, likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. The Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Listen, if you show up, God will meet you in imperfect, unfinished prayers. He's not looking for polished prayers. Mike talked about it in the beginning. He's not looking for perfection, he's looking for presence.

Mike K.: 8:40

That's right. If as you're listening, you feel conviction but not condemnation. That's important. That's the Holy Spirit gently inviting you to a deeper walk.

Carlie K.: 8:53

Yes, and that's exactly why we created the Marriage Prayer Club. Not as a program to perform, but as a place of support, a place where couples are guided, encouraged, and equipped to build scripture-centered prayer rhythms, prayer rhythms. Yeah. I love that. Prayer rhythms that last. Here's the thing. If you want to check this out, you can go to marriageprayerclub.com. We will also have links in the show notes that will take you there. But here's here's the deal. A lot of people think that, you know, I'm going to get to it. Yeah, I know better. I know I know I have to pray. Okay, that's good. But the question remains, are you? Now again, we're not calling it out as a way to condemn, but this is a way for us. We have been called, anointed, and called by God. There's a mandate on our lives to help married couples redeem marriages for the kingdom of heaven. So this is part of that mandate, y'all. When you come and you fellowship online, in person at any of our events, however, whatever capacity, you link arms with Mike and Carly Kirchhoffal, aka the praying couple. And yes, we own the registered trademark, the praying couple. It's who we've been for decades, for three of them to be exact. So here's the deal. We want you to check it out. We want you to see what the marriage prayer club is all about. Okay. You will not regret linking arms with brothers and sisters around the world, like-minded couples who love the Lord, who miss it. Yeah, because we're imperfect, but who continue to keep pressing on toward the high calling in Christ. We don't give up, we don't condemn ourselves, we don't condemn each other, but we do our very best to live the life that God has designed specifically for us to live. We're going to go ahead and close out this episode in prayer. Father God, thank you for your word, which is living and active. Thank you for every marriage listening today. We ask that you would restore unity, soften hearts, and teach couples how to seek you together daily, humbly, and consistently.

Mike K.: 11:03

Father, where prayer is faded, bring renewal. Amen. Where discouragement discouragement has taken root, bring hope and help marriages become places where your presence is welcome and is honored. We thank you for all these things.

Carlie K.: 11:19

Yes, Lord.

Mike K.: 11:20

In Jesus' name.

Carlie K.: 11:21

Amen. Amen. So we welcome you to connect with us at our website, theprayingcouple.com, and any other place that you can find us. We're also on YouTube. We are on Instagram. But we are most active on our email list. So we invite you to go ahead and get on that. You can there's going to be links again at our website at theprayingcouple.com. You can join our email list, and there'll be some links below. We love you all. We bless you and we praise God for you. And we will talk to you next time in Jesus' name. Amen. Bye bye.