Carlie K.: 0:01

Hello, hello, friends.

Mike K.: 0:03

Hey everyone.

Carlie K.: 0:04

Welcome to the Praying Couple Podcast. We are thrilled to have you here with us today. If this is your first time with us, my name is Carlie Kercheval, and I'm joined today with my husband and co-host, Mike Kercheval. Today we're talking about something exciting, revival in marriage. And today's episode title reflects this very thing. It is called Marriage Revival Starts with Your Prayer Life. When we hear the word revival, many of us picture something loud, dramatic, or public. We think of packed rooms, emotional moments, and visible transformation. But scripture shows us that real revival rarely starts that way, especially in marriage. Marriage revival seldom begins with your spouse changing. Instead, it begins with heart softening. It begins when God is invited back into the ordinary, everyday spaces where distance has quietly formed. And today, we want to say something that may feel both sobering and hopeful. Marriage revival almost always starts with prayer, not performance, not confrontation, and certainly not control.

Mike K.: 1:18

Amen. Many couples want to change their marriage, but few realize that sustained change began spiritually before it ever shows up emotionally or behaviorally. Prayer is not a last resort for broken marriages, it's the birthplace of renewal. Yes. And this episode is for couples who are longing for something more, not just survival, not just peacekeeping, but revival. A renewed sense of unity, tenderness, purpose, and spiritual intimacy.

Carlie K.: 1:53

Yes. So let's talk a little bit about God's definition of revival. Revival biblically is not about excitement, it's about return. It's about God restoring what has grown dry. 2 Chronicles 7.14 says, If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. That verse is often quoted broadly, but it begins with a personal note. Revival begins when hearts turn toward God again, and marriages are no exception.

Mike K.: 2:37

This is so true. Notice the order here humility, prayer, seeking God's face, then healing.

Carlie K.: 2:46

Yeah.

Mike K.: 2:47

We often want healing without the posture that invites it, but God restores what is surrendered. Marriage revival does not start with the fixing of everything that feels wrong. It starts with returning to God together or even individually and saying, Lord, we need you here again.

Carlie K.: 3:09

Yes, yes. You know, prayer is often the first thing that fades in marriages. And that's something that we have seen and heard in our decades of marriage counseling. And, you know, most couples don't stop praying because they stop believing, they stop praying because life gets heavy, it gets hard, disappointment creeps in, conversations turn transactional, emotional distance grows slowly between them. And prayer, which requires vulnerability, it then becomes uncomfortable. Scripture warns us about this subtle drift. Revelation 2, 4 and 5 says, But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember, therefore, from where you have fallen, repent and do the works you did at first. And you know that's so true because a lot of times what people will do in the beginning of their marriages to woo each other, you know, the dating phase or the courting phase, um, even the honeymoon phase. Yeah. When real life settles in and the day-to-day comes up, that's where you see what you're really made of.

Mike K.: 4:20

Yeah.

Carlie K.: 4:20

And it's a good thing, you know, a lot of times people perceive failure or conflict in marriage, what they may perceive as failures, as bad things, but realistically it shows us what where we're at.

Mike K.: 4:33

Yeah, it does.

Carlie K.: 4:34

Because if you know what you're made of and you know what the foundation is or isn't, you can only go up from there.

Mike K.: 4:41

Yeah.

Carlie K.: 4:42

So I want to encourage you today that God's not accusing you here, but he's inviting you to remember and return to the days where you loved each other well, if you're maybe in a season where that's not the case, and just to remember that his grace is sufficient for every single day.

Mike K.: 5:00

Definitely true. Prayer fades when hearts are hardened, when disappointment goes unspoken, or when couples feel stuck. But prayer is not meant to be reserved for when everything feels right, it is meant to soften what has grown cold.

Carlie K.: 5:21

Yes.

Mike K.: 5:22

Psalm 5110 says, Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Renewal begins in the heart, and prayer is how we open it up again.

Carlie K.: 5:35

Yes. And you know, personal revival, it always precedes marital revival because you have to work on yourself first to be the best spouse that you can be. In order for Carly to be the best wife that Carly can be, I can't be focused on things outside of myself and Jesus. You know, I have to have that personal connection with God, and that comes into the marriage and it creates a stronger bond when I'm working on a personal revival all the time in connection with Jesus first. Then when Mike and I come together, it's different because one of the most misunderstood truths about marriage revival is this you cannot revive what you refuse to bring before God personally first. Yeah. So Psalm 139, 23, and 24 says, Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts, and see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. That is not a prayer for your spouse. Yes, you can pray it for your spouse, but that is first and foremost a prayer for your own heart. It's so important that we don't forget in the times, especially when it's difficult, to not focus all our prayers on our spouse. We have to change our understanding, our hearts, our perception. We want to see our spouse the way God does. Yes. Because we a lot of times, if we get emotional about things or we, you know, maybe have some unforgiveness, then all of a sudden there are these wedges that the enemy is successfully creating between you and your spouse that if you had the mind of God on the matter, it wouldn't even be an issue.

Mike K.: 7:13

It's so true. And and this is important. I can attest to this because there's a lot of times, you know, in your emotions or in your flesh, you want to say, hey, something's wrong with my spouse. Yeah. But as you surrender, God will say, you know what, there's some things in your in your life for me, Michael, that that I'm restoring.

Carlie K.: 7:31

Yes.

Mike K.: 7:31

And let me get in and give me the opportunity to go ahead and restore it.

Carlie K.: 7:35

Amen.

Mike K.: 7:36

So marriage revival often begins when one spouse stops praying about the other and starts praying before God honestly. When pride softens, when defensiveness lowers, when humility opens the door for God to work. James 4, 8 says this draw near to God and he will draw near to you. God's nearness changes marriages, but it starts with individuals choosing closeness with him first.

Carlie K.: 8:07

I love that. I love how you said that, you know, obviously we don't need to be praying about anything. I mean, we can praise God, but praying about our spouse, we shouldn't be up in there, and my prayer should never be, well, God, you know that Mike did this and he's always saying that, and I need you to change his his speech, God. Like that, that's not right. You can vent to God, obviously. You can but but true intimate prayer with our Father is not going to come from that disposition of the heart. That's that's just venting. But I like how you said praying before God honestly, to be honest before God. Because a lot of times, you know, if we go again, God, I am not saying if you're upset not to pray, do not misconstrue my words. But I'm saying if when you go into prayer, the only thing you're doing is ranting and raving about somebody else. You really need to look inwardly first because you're missing that connection with your heavenly father and allowing your emotions to dictate that time that could be spent with him loving you, healing you, giving you wisdom and opportunities to see things his way. And so we just want to encourage you to continue, as Michael said, to choose that closeness with God first and watch what he'll do in your marriage. So we're gonna talk a little bit about what revival-focused prayer can look like in your marriage. Revival-focused prayer is different from problem-focused prayer. Instead of only praying, you know, Lord, we need you to fix this issue or change my spouse, or God, I'm asking you to make this easier, which is oftentimes a trap. Easy is never. That sounds good, but we have learned uh that's definitely a prayer that we've X'd out of our list. Um, but revival-focused prayer sounds more like, Lord, restore our love for each other, heal what is grown, dry in our marriage. Yeah. You know, maybe teach us how to walk together in unity again, or maybe even for the first time. Yeah. I know some of you have maybe had a very rough marriage up until now, but you want something different. You and your spouse recognize there's more to this. We can have more. God has promised us more. And if God is love, then we want to experience that within our marriage covenant. Ezekiel 37, 5 and 6 says, Thus says the Lord God to these bones, behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the Lord. So God revives what looks lifeless, y'all. He literally will revive it, but only when he's invited into the valley, when you invite him to come in, when you invite his words to be spoken and released over your heart, your marriage, your spouse's heart, your children, any other area that you need revival, you gotta partner with God, and he will do what he said he will do.

Mike K.: 11:20

Amen. Prayer invites God's breath back into places that feel dead or disconnected. And revival does not require perfection, you guys.

Carlie K.: 11:32

Amen.

Mike K.: 11:32

It requires his presence.

Carlie K.: 11:35

Doesn't that bring you peace? Like knowing that it doesn't require perfection from us because we never will be perfect.

Mike K.: 11:43

That's right.

Carlie K.: 11:43

So if it like seriously, if it was all hinged on us, we're in trouble. So we're gonna speak now a little bit to when only one spouse is praying. Um, many marriages, you know, they experience revival because one spouse remained faithful in prayer. So we want to encourage you around that. We have testimony after testimony after testimony of one spouse standing in the gap for their marriage and God doing miraculous things because they remained faithful in prayer. Now we don't want you to be discouraged and think, well, I've been praying for my marriage for 20 years, Carly, and that sounds good, but nothing is happening. God is not a liar.

Mike K.: 12:25

That's right.

Carlie K.: 12:25

So things are happening, but just like we're talking about in this episode, we have to look in our own hearts first. Are we too hardened to hear the Lord's voice? I know there were seasons of my life where I was so hurt by things, not really from Mike, to be honest, but other things in life, or prior to my salvation, before I knew Jesus, I was so injured and so angry and hurt and just so frustrated about why did I have to grow up like this? Why did this happen? I was so fixated on my problems that I couldn't hear God calling out to me. And so that's something that we want to encourage you around. God is moving. Yes, don't stop praying. Galatians 6 9 encourages us and let us not grow weary of doing good. For in due season we will reap if we do not give up. Prayer is never wasted. God uses faithful intercession even when results are not immediate. Because listen, most likely the results will not be immediate.

Mike K.: 13:28

Yeah.

Carlie K.: 13:28

And that grows our faith.

Mike K.: 13:30

Yes.

Carlie K.: 13:30

And it it makes sure that we're relying on our Heavenly Father.

Mike K.: 13:33

And know this, like that I like when you said prayer is not wasted. I know some of you out there will be like, hey, I've been praying the same thing for X amount of days or years, but God knows where you're at, He hears you. Keep growing and building your faith. All right. Isaiah 55, 11 reminds us so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth. It shall not return to me empty.

Carlie K.: 13:58

Amen.

Mike K.: 13:58

When we pray God's word over our marriage, it is never empty. Yes. It is active, even when it is unseen or it doesn't seem like it, it is active because it's God's word.

Carlie K.: 14:12

Yep, and he is going to accomplish the purpose for which he sent it, as long as we're praying his word, okay? Don't forget that. That's something we have been preaching and teaching for nearly 30 years. We gotta speak his word. Yes, because the Bible tells us that when we pray his will, which is his word, that not only does he hear our prayers, but he answers them. So we want to talk a little bit too about building a prayer rhythm that sustains revival, because a lot of times we can, you know, be really consistent in prayer, and then some life throws us a curveball, and then things get out of whack. So it's important to remember that revival is not sustained by emotional moments, okay? It's sustained by intentional rhythm. Deuteronomy 6, 6, and 7 says, and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently, and shall talk of them when you sit, when you walk, when you lie down, and when you rise. Prayer that is woven into your daily life, it creates space for lasting change.

Mike K.: 15:16

Amen. Consistency matters more than intensity.

Carlie K.: 15:21

Yes.

Mike K.: 15:21

A few faithful minutes a day will transform a marriage more deeply than occasionally emotional prayers.

Carlie K.: 15:29

Yes, that's so true. It's so true. So, you know, if your heart is longing for revival in your marriage, you are not alone. That's right. If you're longing for revival, not just peace, but renewal, you don't have to figure it out alone. We want to invite you into an intimate space that God called us to create that can help you grow in creating intentional, life-changing prayer habits. This space is inside the Marriage Prayer Club. This club exists to help couples build scripture-centered prayer rhythms that restore unity, hope, and spiritual intimacy over time. This is a safe space to pray, grow in faith, to learn to give yourself grace, your spouse more grace, and to come, you know, even to our monthly live prayer meetings.

Mike K.: 16:18

Yep.

Carlie K.: 16:18

It's a chance to connect on a deeper level with your Father in heaven without guilt, without shame, but a place that is safe to grow.

Mike K.: 16:27

Yes.

Carlie K.: 16:28

And it's so exciting. It's so we love the work that God is doing inside of the Marriage Prayer Club. So you can get started with us today at marriageprayerclub.com.

Mike K.: 16:38

And remember whether you are praying together or carrying the prayer alone, support matters.

Carlie K.: 16:44

Yes.

Mike K.: 16:44

Revival grows best in community.

Carlie K.: 16:48

Amen. Amen. So we're going to go ahead and close out the episode in prayer. Father God, we come before you with marriages that need your breath again. Yes. Where hearts have grown weary, bring renewal, Father. Where distance has settled in between people who love each other dearly, bring closeness. Where prayer has faded, we ask you, Father, to restore the hunger to come before you together and as individuals in prayer.

Mike K.: 17:20

Father, we ask that you revive what has grown dry, to heal what has been wounded, and to strengthen what has felt fragile. Teach us to seek you first and trust you fully in Jesus' name. Amen.

Carlie K.: 17:37

Amen. Well, we love you with the love of Christ. Yes. We will see you on the next episode, and we hope you will join us inside of the Marriage Prayer Club. Yep. God bless. Bye bye.