Carlie K. 0:00

Hello, hello. Hey everyone. Welcome, welcome to the Praying Couple podcast. We're so thankful to have you here with us today. If this is your first time with us, my name is Carly Kirchhoffell, and I'm here with my husband and co-host, Mike Kirchovel. In today's episode, we're talking about prayer journaling. And the episode is called How Writing Your Prayers Will Change Your Life. Amen. Many couples want a deeper prayer life, but they feel scattered when they try to pray. Exhaustion steals our focus, thoughts wander, emotions interrupt, past failures surface, and words can feel hard to form. And over time, prayer can start to feel repetitive, rushed, or disconnected. What many couples don't realize is that scripture invites us not only to pray, but to remember. And one of the most powerful ways God has shaped our prayer life and our marriage has been through prayer journaling. Writing your prayers is not about being poetic or organized, although those are great benefits. It's about slowing down long enough to notice what's happening in your own heart and inviting God in to help you do things his way.

Mike K. 1:13

That is so true. Prayer journaling did not make our prayers better, it made them more tangible.

Carlie K. 1:21

Amen.

Mike K. 1:22

It helped us to stop praying what we thought we should pray and start praying what we were actually caring. And that changed everything.

Carlie K. 1:46

It's true. And I like how you said it makes it more tangible because a lot of times, you know, prayer just seems like something you just, you know, I hear this phrase and it kind of drives me nuts to be honest when people say, Oh, just throw some prayers up. And it's like, uh, no, we're not throwing prayer up. That's right. I understand the um, you know, I get what they're trying to say, but what they're really telling me is I don't really know how to pray. I probably won't even pray for you. And you know, I'll probably forget. Because you know, a lot of people say they're praying for you, but they're not. And again, I'm not saying this to be judgmental, I'm just being real. Okay. So the tangible part of prayer is awesome when you see those things written down because science has proven time and time again, like you just mentioned, when you put, when you write things down, it solidifies it in your brain. Yeah. So you remember. So we'll get into this a little bit more uh a little bit later in the episode. So, you know, throughout scripture, God repeatedly tells us people to remember, not because he forgets, but because we do. Yeah. How many times have you prayed for something, received what you asked for, then days, weeks, months, or years down the road, found yourself forgetting what the Lord has already done. I know I have more times than I care to admit. Deuteronomy 612 says, Take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt. Remembering anchors are faith. And writing is one of the most powerful ways to remember what God has done, what he has spoken, and what we have entrusted to him.

Mike K. 3:20

Amen. And in Psalms, David often wrote his prayers. He recorded fear, anger, hope, praise, and repentance. Psalm 77, 11 says, I remember the deeds of the Lord. Yes, I will remember your wonders of old. Prayer journaling allows us to trace God's faithfulness, not just in hindsight, but in real time.

Carlie K. 3:47

I like that. Trace God's faithfulness. It just kind of reminds me of just mapping it. I just when I when you said that, I thought of a map and just it coming to life and being able to see the connections. Because we don't see the connections in real time as human beings. But when we look back at what the Lord has done in our life and you're like, wow. So when I went through this, it was because of that. And all this stuff makes sense. It's so awesome. Spoken prayer is powerful, but it's not always easy. Some people actually struggle to find words. Others can feel rushed. Some couples feel pressured that when they pray together out loud, that it's not right, it's not perfect. Oh, I stumbled over a word. And that's the kind of stuff that the enemy wants us to focus on because he doesn't want us to realize the power of prayer and especially the power of agreement when we pray as husband and wife. Writing slows us down, it gives space for honesty, it helps us notice patterns in our thoughts and emotions that often go unspoken. Habakkuk 2-2 says, Write the vision, make it plain. God values what is written, not because it's in permanent ink or you have great handwriting or a fancy journal, but because it invites clarity and intentionality.

Mike K. 5:08

Definitely true. Writing prayers down helps us to move from vague anxiety to specific and surrender. Instead of saying, God help our marriage, journaling invites us to name what we need help with and why. 1 Peter 5 7 tells us casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. Writing is often one way we can learn to cast our circumstances instead of keeping our problems trapped within our own selves.

Carlie K. 5:44

Amen. That's a that just even hearing it that way when we are not obeying God, because that's the command to cast our cares upon him. Yeah. And when we choose to bottle it up, that's literally what's happening is we're trapping our problems in ourselves, and it's just swelling up and causing an I mean an explosion. Yeah. You know, it's pressure. There's ways. Yes. Just waiting to explode. So next we're going to talk a little bit about how writing shapes the heart. Prayer journaling doesn't just change what we pray, it changes us.

Mike K. 6:17

Yes.

Carlie K. 6:18

So when we write, we begin to notice where our hearts need healing. We notice where our hearts need to be more humble, and maybe places where we lack trust. Psalm 62.8 says, Pour out your heart before God. God is a refuge for us. Writing helps us pour instead of perform. Over time, journaling has revealed patterns in our prayers, recurring fears, repeated requests, and quiet gratitude we hadn't noticed really ever before. That awareness invited transformation in our marriage.

Mike K. 6:54

I like that when you talked about it us it pouring instead of performance. You know what I mean? That's requiring being humble and vulnerable and allowing God to work on us. So in writing that down, we need those times to look back because we could go through a certain amount of days and then we forget something, and then we say, you know what, we wrote this down. And this also helps us strengthen our testimony. We can say, Hey, I remember when you fill in the blank because you you wrote it down. Yes. You can refer back to it. That's it. Jesus tells us in Matthew 12:34, for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Writing reveals abundance, what's really filling in our hearts. And once it's visible, God can meet us right there.

Carlie K. 7:44

Amen. It's so true. So prayer journaling is in marriage, it doesn't require sharing every entry with each other, okay? In fact, some prayers are meant to just stay private. Journaling is first about personal honesty, humility, and submission before God. But there are times when sharing our written prayers can deepen unity in our marriage, especially when couples may feel stuck or unsure how to pray aloud together. So these can this, you know, what's cool is it can honestly open up conversations for couples who feel awkward when they pray. Yeah. And it just kind of naturally progresses into prayer because they begin to realize if there really isn't pressure in prayer, we're putting pressure into the prayer. But that's not God's design or intention for our prayers. So Colossians 3, 16 says, Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. When scripture and prayer dwell richly in our hearts, naturally our hearts are going to overflow into our marriage with gentleness.

Mike K. 8:45

Yes, definitely so true. And some couples journal individually, and that's okay. And then uh they agree on one shared prayer, others journal the same scriptures separately, and notice how God speaks uniquely to each of you. Yes, there is no right way, only a faithful one writing it down. It's very important again, because then you can look back and say, God brought us through this, this, and this. Or, hey, while God was talking to you about this, he was talking to me, and you guys share this together because you wrote it down.

Carlie K. 9:21

Yes.

Mike K. 9:21

You take what's in your mind and your heart and you put it on paper. Again, it's another reference tool.

Carlie K. 9:27

I love how you said that there isn't a certain way, there's no one right way, but it's being faithful.

Mike K. 9:33

Yeah.

Carlie K. 9:34

So faithfulness, God values that more than the way that you approach it. You know, it can be different times of the day. It doesn't have to be every single Sunday at 6 a.m. You know, God is not a robot, and neither are we. And so we need to give ourselves grace, but in that grace, the the main objective is to be faithful. Yes. To be faithful. So next we want to talk a little bit about what to write when you don't know what to say. Because there are many times when that happens, right? You sit down, and I'm a writer, you know. So I'm, as a matter of fact, I'm writing a book right now. Mike and I are under contract for our next marriage devotional. It's a 365-day devotional. And, you know, there's publisher deadlines and there's these different things. So I have to sit down. And you know, that thing you might see of the writer's block where they have the blank screen. That doesn't happen too often, but sometimes it does. And I've been writing for a long time. I've been writing since I was an um really since I was a little girl. I started writing. But in terms of professionally, I've been writing for like close to 30 years. And so sometimes we don't know what to say. Yeah. In those times, you know, a lot of times people will hesitate to journal. You know, they're they're gonna say, you know, I don't know what to say, I don't know where to start, so I'm just gonna walk away. We want to encourage you not to do that. Even if you hesitate, even if you don't know what to say, don't quit. That's right. Here are a few simple scripture-based prompts. You can literally just start with Lord, today I feel. That's a very simple one. But after you write those words, you feel something. You could say it could be anything. You insert the blank, but there's gonna be a word that pops up when you write Lord today, I feel another scripture-based prompt could be God, I'm concerned that put your concerns before him. Yeah, Father, help me trust you with. There's some things that all of us, there's there's things that we need to trust our Father with that we're not giving, you know, to him. We're trying to hold on to it. Thank you for these are some very simple ways to kind of get the jitters out and just not feel pressure. Again, prayer is not designed to cause pressure, it relieves it. Yes, it releases it, it's a gift to us. The Psalms remind us that God welcomes every emotion. Psalm 34, 18 says, The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. You don't need polished words, you just need to come honestly before the King of Kings.

Mike K. 12:14

That is so true. And remember, Romans 8.26 tells us that the Spirit helps us when words fail. Journaling is not about perfection, it's about experiencing God's presence. All right. It's it's again making it a good habit, putting that, referencing, and just allowing the Spirit of God to continually help you through the process.

Carlie K. 12:39

Amen. One of the most powerful fruits of prayer journaling is actually it's looking back and seeing how God has moved. Revelation 12, 11 says, and they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. Written prayers become testimonies. Yeah. They remind us that God was faithful even when the answers may have seemed slow. It builds our faith to be able to look back on the prayer we've written down and the ones we know that God has answered. This is the epitome of prayer. It's it's a tool, as Mike mentioned earlier, to build our faith. It's a tool to build intimacy between us and God. It's a tool to build a safe space, whether that's the shared space of marriage prayer, you know, couples praying together in the presence of God, or just individually, the safe space of coming before our Heavenly Father in prayer. There's safety there. And that's been a gift for us.

Mike K. 13:35

Amen. Now, in seasons of doubt, written prayer anchors your face. They remind us of what we trusted God with and how he carried us through. It again, time and time, written prayers, just going back and looking at it. It's gonna act as because it's gonna be those days where your fruit is squeezed, your faith is challenged, and then you're because you've written it down, you're saying, okay, yeah, this is the focus, this is the prayer point, this is where we left off at. It's a reminder, it's kind of like getting it back on the bullseye target.

Carlie K. 14:10

Yes, that's good. So if your prayer life feels scattered or rushed, journaling may be the invitation that you need to slow down and listen more deeply. That's one of the reasons we encourage written prayer rhythms inside the marriage prayer club. So couples can engage with scripture, prayer, and reflection in sustainable ways. Every month in the Marriage Prayer Club, in addition to prayer cards, we also provide a topical prayer journal to reflect, process, and share your heart with God. You know, it's an awesome tool to be able to do that together. And what I love too about the resources that we provide within the marriage prayer club is that they are topical, so they match. So the scripture prayer cards aren't one topic and then the journal another. It's all the same. So if it's about experiencing, you know, more joy in your marriage, then both are going to be focused on that. The scriptures are gonna be focused on that, the prayers are focused on that. So then we can meditate on that in the word and allow God to transform us as individuals and then as a couple.

Mike K. 15:17

Yes.

Carlie K. 15:17

It's a beautiful thing. And then also another part, I talk about this a lot, that I love is the power of agreement with other couples, other couples within the marriage prayer club community, couples all around the world. We have people from dozens of countries that are inside of the prayer club. And it's exciting because we know that we're praying for our marriages, yes, but for marriages around the world. And God is moving, He's always moving, but He is really moving in the obedience of those, of the prayers and obedience of those who come together in unity.

Mike K. 15:52

The Marriage Prayer Club is a safe place where you can, in fact, journal and build your faith together on a monthly basis. Carla and I, we're excited to have you join us today.

Carlie K. 16:04

Yeah, you can go over right now and join us at marriageprayerclub.com. Okay, this is the end of the episode, so we're gonna close it out in prayer. We want to thank you again for choosing to spend some time with us today. We're very grateful for that, and we definitely are honored to pray for you today. Father God, thank you for meeting us in the quiet moments. Teach us how to slow down, how to listen, and how to pour out our hearts honestly before you as individuals and as a married couple. God, where our words have felt hard, give us grace. Where prayer has felt rushed, bring us rest.

Mike K. 16:42

Father, help our marriages today. Discover the beauty of writing out prayers. Let these moments become places of healing, remembrance, and trust as you continue to shape our hearts within our marriage. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Carlie K. 16:58

Amen. We love you all with the love of Christ. Yes. And we pray that you will meet us again here next week for the next episode. In the meantime, be blessed.

Mike K. 17:09

Bye bye.