Carlie K. 0:00

Hello, hello. Hey everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Praying Couple podcast. We're your hosts, Mike and Carlie Kercheval. We are grateful that you have chosen to spend some time with us today as we tackle a delicate and very difficult subject. Today's episode is entitled When Your Spouse Rejects You Healing, Prayer, and Biblical Hope for the Rejected Heart. If you've ever experienced rejection by your spouse, today's episode is for you. There's a kind of pain that doesn't register on the outside, yet it shatters you on the inside. It's the pain of rejection. Not rejection by strangers, not even rejection by friends, but rejection from the person who promised covenant, unity, and intimacy. When your spouse rejects you emotionally, physically, relationally, it cuts deep. It's personal. It feels like your very worth is being questioned. You may be asking, Am I not enough? What did I do wrong? Is this my fault? How do I pray when my heart is shattered? Today we want to encourage you with a heart of love, honesty, and biblical truth. God has not abandoned you in this pain. He sees your hurt, he hears your questions, and he will meet you where it hurts if you bring your hurt to him.

Mike K. 1:30

Yes, there is power in bringing raw emotion before a faithful God. Rejection wounds identity, but scripture restores it.

Carlie K. 1:41

Amen.

Mike K. 1:41

Psalm 3418 says, The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Remember this: God is not distant. He isn't overwhelmed by our pain. He holds us tenderly in this moment. So let's talk with God together. Let's lean into his word together. Let's begin the healing process right now together.

Carlie K. 2:08

Amen. I love that. The first step toward healing is not pretending that everything is okay. That doesn't help at all. When rejection happens, whether it's emotional withdrawal, coldness, unkind words spoken, withdrawal of affection or avoidance, it leaves you feeling defeated, unseen, and unwanted. But scripture says, cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5, 7. This doesn't minimize your pain, but it validates it. Before anything can change, God wants to heal your heart. This doesn't mean that your spouse or even you perhaps are off the hook for mistreating one another. It just means that our focus has to be on our relationship with God first. Because if we put anything above him, it's idolatry. And that will get us off track really quick and out of his will real fast. And the truth is we are only responsible for our own hearts and actions, not those of someone else, including our spouse.

Mike K. 3:16

Very much so true. And some believers even wonder if this means God has rejected them. I know me, I often believe that God, you know, the lie that God rejected me every time I fell short of accomplishing the task at hand. I learned that over time that it was okay to let God know that I was hurting deep down inside instead of remaining offended all the time. Scripture teaches us God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7. Our identity is not wrapped up in human approval. Our identity is in Christ.

Carlie K. 4:02

Amen. And that's something that's an affirmation that you can speak to yourself because a lot of times, sadly, identity is people allow identity to be tainted by things outside of Christ. So culture, their family's opinion, what the news is saying, the color of their skin, their bank account. Yeah. And we need to constantly speak to ourselves and remind ourselves that our identity is in Christ. Let's go ahead and pray. We're going to pray a little bit more throughout this episode because we really want to take the time to pause and acknowledge how deep rejection actually can go. Yeah. And how it can affect every area of your life. And we want to help you at least start the healing process or continue it, depending on where you're at. Lord Jesus, we come before you lifting up all our brothers and sisters to you who are carrying heavy hearts. Lord, we just pray that wherever rejection has cut deep, that your healing touch would go forth. Where people's spirits may feel crushed, be their healer, Father. Where hope seems distant, be our comforter.

Mike K. 5:18

Father, help us to release the lies that say we are unlovable or unwanted. Speak truth into the places where shame has taken root. Help us to cling to your affirmation that we are fearfully and wonderfully made in your image.

Carlie K. 5:36

In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Rejection doesn't change God's promises. And I know sometimes when you're hurt by that pain of rejection, it is entry point where the enemy tries to come in and say, Hey, I'm going to lie to them right now because they're hurting. They're going to probably be more likely to believe this thought or this lie. And that's why the word is very clear that we are to take every thought captive. We have to judge our thoughts against the word of God. Yes. Now Jesus also said, Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11, 28. He hears the rejected heart, not with condemnation, but with compassion, even if pain itself can speak to us spiritually. When Jacob was rejected by Laban's household, when David was rejected by Saul, when Jesus was rejected by his own creation, God used the rejections to shape their hearts, deepen faith, and reveal his presence and confirm his promises. And he does the same today. Never forget that God promises us in Romans 8.28, and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. That means that God wastes nothing. We can count on him.

Mike K. 7:06

Yes, and remember that God took a rejected young shepherd boy and revealed his purpose, David, after the prophet Samuel questioned Jesse about if all his sons were present before him. God's process of building character is not easy from our perspective, but he knows how to bring forth redemption. Psalm 147, verse 3 says, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. God doesn't pretend the wound isn't real. He doesn't say, just get over it.

Carlie K. 7:43

Amen.

Mike K. 7:51

I can relate to being offended and thinking that it would instantly, the rejection would instantly go away. But God knows how to reveal the root of our rejection and offenses.

Carlie K. 8:03

It's true because a lot of times when rejection hits, it stings, it hurts, right? You feel that pain. And then maybe we just ask God to remove it and we just kind of move on with our day. But like you said, it's the root. It's the root. Without rooting something out, it continues to grow.

Mike K. 8:20

Yes.

Carlie K. 8:21

And that is something that is so important to be reminded of that we have to constantly go after the root. When your heart hurts, pray. Remember that prayer doesn't have to be eloquent, prayer should be honest. God just wants our hearts so he can minister to us and heal us. Psalm 42, 11 says, Why are you cast down, O my soul? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise him. You can bring anything to God in prayer. Yes. Confusion, hurt, longing, anger, silence, all of it. He just wants your heart. He welcomes you in every way, shape, and form that you can show up. He's not saying you got to show up to me peacefully, because he's our peace. That's right. He's not saying you have to show up to me healed because he's our healer. He's not saying you have to show up fancy and in your best mind and your right mind. He's saying, Come as you are, because I love you.

Mike K. 9:24

Amen. And remember this that prayer changes us, even if our spouse hasn't changed yet. You may feel unheard by your spouse, but guess what? God hears you. First Corinthians 13, verses 4 through 7 says, Tell us. Love suffers long and is kind, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. It doesn't mean endurance without boundaries, but endurance with God sustained in his unfailing love.

Carlie K. 10:02

I love that. And so we want to say something really clearly. And this is something that you'll hear us say often because we don't, we have a strong conviction around this, and we know that we have to hit this up in every episode, especially dealing with the hurt and pain that some marriages are facing. God is never okay with abuse. Okay. No, God never signs off on emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, spiritual abuse, financial abuse, any form of manipulation. Rejection, you know, doesn't excuse sin. That's right. Rejection does not negate your dignity. Rejection is never a license for somebody to control you or to harm you. Scripture teaches love, mutual respect, and protection within marriage. But forgiveness is biblical healing, not denial. Matthew 16, 14 through 15 says, For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. Forgiveness frees you from bitterness. It does not mean that you have to tolerate harm just because you're choosing to forgive. So we want to remind you that if you're in an unsafe marriage, protect yourself by reaching out to the proper authorities or someone you can trust. God cares about your safety. And if you have children, he really cares about the safety of your babies too. Never forget that.

Mike K. 11:35

So let's pray and ask God to help us through this process. Lord, teach us how to forgive so we can begin to experience healing. Forgive where we have sinned. We release what we have carried that was never ours to hold.

Carlie K. 11:54

Yes, God. Heal the wounds that rejection has carved into our souls. Help us to walk in grace toward one another as you heal the roots of rejection in our hearts and replace it with your love. In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Something that isn't talked about often is that rejection wounds your identity. It makes you ask, Am I lovable? Am I enough? But scripture says, see what great love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God. Hallelujah. First John 3:1. Your worth is not in being accepted by another imperfect human. That's not where your worth comes from. Your worth is not to be rooted in being loved by anyone except a perfect God. Because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, you have become the righteousness of God. Your identity has nothing to do with how others see you, treat you, or perceive you. But your identity has everything to do with your father's love for you, which is evidenced all over his word, and it's showcased in your very testimony.

Mike K. 13:07

Amen. You may feel rejected by your spouse today, but God has accepted you forever. Amen. No human rejection can remove that. Yes. I used to think that Carly was rejecting me when I, whenever I didn't accomplish my acts of service toward her, but God showed me that even the thought of rejection loses its power every time I choose to receive his unfailing love, knowing that my true identity is in Jesus Christ. This knowing has increased my confidence instead of me focusing on my perceived failures or shortcomings.

Carlie K. 13:48

I'm glad you brought that up because there are a lot of times where because we're wounded by rejection and the root of rejection remains in us, we will see other people's, I guess our interactions with other people through the lens of rejection. So we're creating really lies around other people's intentions because we're harmed. We have been rejected. And so we're seeing things through that lens of rejection. And that's a really good point because I know many of you listening, including myself, that there are so many times that I perceived that somebody was rejecting me. And I just made that up in my mind to try to protect myself when in fact they were not. So I'm glad that you that you brought that up. That was really, really good point. Let's pray. Father, we humbly ask you to heal us from the root of rejection. Where rejection has wounded us, bring restoration. Where hearts feel unloved or unsafe, pour out your love and your protection. Where doubt creeps in, remind us that your love never fails.

Mike K. 14:59

Father, even as we pray for healing, shape our responses. Give us the courage to seek help, set healthy boundaries, and continue to walk in grace. And we ask this in Jesus' name.

Carlie K. 15:12

Amen. Amen. Well, before we close today, we want to speak directly to those of you who are carrying the pain of rejection in your marriage. If your heart feels bruised, if you've been crying out to God, wondering how to keep loving, forgiving, and hoping, please hear this. God has not abandoned you, and he has not stopped working in your marriage or in your heart. But healing rarely happens in isolation. It happens when we keep bringing our pain honestly before the Lord and allow his word and his spirit to reshape our hearts. If you want to experience deeper healing, deeper connection with God, and greater strength in prayer during this difficult season, we want to invite you to take the next step with us. We want to invite you to join us inside of the Marriage Prayer Club. Inside the club, we help guide couples and individuals through scripture-based prayers specifically designed for the real struggles that marriages face, things like rejection, distance, hurt, forgiveness, money problems, restorations. You'll receive biblical encouragement, guided prayer rhythms, and a community of believers, frankly, who are standing in faith for stronger marriages. The power of agreement in prayer is so important as believers. You do not have to carry this alone. Go to marriageprayerclub.com today and join us. Let's keep bringing these broken places before the Lord together because God is still able to heal hearts, restore hope, and rebuild what feels shattered.

Mike K. 16:56

If this episode spoke directly to the pain you're walking through, don't try to navigate this season alone. Strengthen your heart, deepen your prayer life, and find biblical encouragement for your marriage inside the Marriage Prayer Club. Go to MarriagePrayerClub.com and join today. Let's keep bringing our marriages and our wounded hearts before the Lord together.

Carlie K. 17:24

Amen. So we just want to thank you again for spending time with us today. We know that God has good plans for you to prosper you, to give you a hope in a future. And we know that he loves you. Yes. So hold on. Continue to dig in deep into his word and just trust your heavenly father. He knows what's best for you. We love you with the love of God, and we will see you next time. Bye bye.